'My wife doesn't show me special care, no breakfast'

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LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS

Dear Counsellor,

My wife does not show me special care. When she wakes up in the morning, she organises the children and herself and she sets off for work. 

I leave for work later, but she does not care to prepare breakfast for me. I have told her several times, but she says she does not have enough time to organise the children and then breakfast for me. 

I think she is taking me for granted. How should I make her show special care to me as her husband?

Bill Kazo

Dear Bill,

It is very crucial in our modern societies for couples to care for one another by complementing each other. Sometimes conditions of the day are determinants of how one should behave and act.

This is done by giving unconditional love, and support to each other in roles and responsibilities. Although traditional roles have their own goodness, sometimes couples need to gauge what works for them considering their situations. 

Do you think your wife is doing bad to organize your children in the morning before she goes to work? Would you prefer breakfast at the expense of your children’s care? Is it possible to change roles so that she is able to prepare breakfast for you?

You say your wife does not prepare breakfast for you but at the same time, you say that she organizes the children before she sets off for work. 

Shouldn’t you be grateful for what she does very early in the morning? Do you have young children? Does she take children to school as she goes to work? Since both of you go to work, have you ever tried to help her prepare children as she prepares breakfast? 

Nurturing children together will help you to bond as a family if both of you learn how to share responsibilities before you set off to work. Modern times need a change of mindset for both men and women so that they are able to live in harmony. 

In the past women were stay-at-home mothers and they had all the time to do home chores while their husbands were at work. 

In your case, both of are working out of the home a reason you should support one another looking after children and preparing breakfast in the morning so that both of you are able to reach your places of work in time.

Clemence Byomuhangi,
Mental Health and Psychosocial Counselling Psychologist