Lessons from Kiwanuka son's life

Last Tuesday, we escorted our mentor Hon. Maria Kiwanuka to lay her dear son, Kyamukungubya (Kyam) Kiwanuka to rest. The atmosphere was mixed; painfully sad on one hand and uplifting on the other hand. Uplifting because Kyam was a man of character.

Even in his death Kyam inspired and taught us, especially those who did not know him up close until his passing. I believe that the good memories of him were and still are comforting to those who experienced life with him. Here are some of the things about Kyam that touched me:

Down-to-earth: After highschool in a prestigious school in South Africa, Kyam accepted internship as a water salesman in downtown Kampala. That meant riding on top of trucks in hot Kampala weather and eating humble meals (posho and beans). He outclassed his workmates in many ways but never showed it. He fit into the kikuubo environment so well that a driver who knew about his background started to doubt if he, truly, was the minister's son.

Hardworking: DFCU illustrates the story best. You know you've done your work well when colleagues protest against your transfer. His former bosses related how each branch that worked with him never wanted him to go. The clients were happy, too; making long cues to be served by this teller. How he never got tired of serving with a bright smile only God knows. He won so many best-performing employee awards that his family thought that it was favouritism. But he had earned it all. Also, that experience as a water salesman built a great foundation for his corporate career in banking.

Loving and Teachable: Kyam had many mentors. Mentors who enjoyed having him under their wing. These included his own aunties and uncles and business associates of the family. He truly loved his people both young and old and they loved him back! That love gifted him more than one mom and dad. Parents who loved and nurtured him like their own.

Competitive: This reminded me of research about the world's wealthy elite. Had he got a chance to live longer, I now believe that Kyam could have been one of the world's wealthiest young men. He was competitive 3-1-1, a trait typical of wealthy people. This kind of competitiveness says if someone else can do it, I can also do it. And also challenging yourself to be the best you can be.

Loyal: While he was competitive, Kyam was also loyal. He did not believe in leaving brothers behind or winning alone. A story was told of how he abandoned an opportunity to join a "respected" but self-centred school team and instead chose a less performing team that had a better team spirit. He kept secrets and stood up for those he believed in.

Selfless: He gave without expecting anything in return. That was one of his secrets to a happy life. He also made everyone feel special and important. There's a story about a PWD who for long had suffered with stairs to access banking services. However, the moment Kyam spotted her, he asked her never to queue up again as long as he was in the bank. He told her to signal and he would always find her and attend to her.

Authentic: Kyam had a wildly diverse CV, working in places and parts of the world that do not seem connected. Yet somehow he was always at home. He owned his space and made genuine connections wherever he went. Think of conversations with a house manager who loves Akaboozi ku Bbiru, a shrewd businessperson in Kikuubo, the corporate elite of Kampala, investment bankers and realtors in the US and highflying Hollywood celebrities. What a world! 

Wise and Respectful: Kyam knew how to seek wise counsel. He was the kind who would formally book an appointment with a close aunt in order to seek guidance on a career move that he was considering. Sometimes we take relatives and close friends for granted, and think that we can bump into them any time to ask for whatever.

Focused and Goal-oriented: From childhood he always defined what he wanted and pursued it with unwavering determination. The last show was abandoning his 'comfort zone', familiar land and connections to forge a new career path. In that regard, he reminded me of King Solomon of whom it is written that he achieved all that he had set out in his heart to do. The sad difference is that our Kyam did not live to a ripe old age.

Generous and Exceptional: generosity is not determined by the size of the gift but by the heart posture of the giver. Kyam saw that his parents had given him so much. He longed for a time when he could also give back to them. On his new job, he divided what little he had and gifted some money to his parents, Mr. & Mrs. Kiwanuka. He did not give them because they needed his money but because there is joy in giving. Sadly, that first paycheck would be his last, but at least he had fulfilled his vow.
Such was the exceptional life that Kyam lived. 

May the Almighty God continue to comfort his family for the great loss of the irreplaceable Kyamukungubya Nsereko Kiwanuka.

The writer is an almni of the Woman In News Uganda Chapter